Shame on me!

I can't believe I've been so terrible about keeping up my journal online. I've been concentrating too much on my actual journal at home. Although I'm not even sure if I have readers anyway... oh well!

Things have been going great despite the scale moving at a slower pace. It's still going down, which is all that matters at this point! I am finally in Onederland and have no intention of ever leaving it! It's hard to believe that less than a year ago I weighed over 300 lbs. This is, by far, the best thing I could have done for myself and I thank God every day that I did.

But now there's this girl in my mirror and I wonder who she is. Sometimes, I think I know her but she still seems so foreign to me! Ha ha ha! Body image is an issue that I will definitely have to deal with. I already have a complex about it and know that it is something I will need to work on.

I was told that about 8 months after surgery, your hunger will start to return. I am now at 9 months and haven't had any hunger issues yet, knock on wood. I try my best at following the rules set forth by the doc and nutritionist, but it is not easy. One of the most difficult things for me has been getting used to not drinking before, during and immediately after my meals. I understand the importance and that has kept me going, but I think that was one of my most difficult adjustments.

The dating scene hasn't gone as smoothly as I had hoped. My initial thought was that losing the excess weight would open up more avenues in the relationship world. But I'm finding it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I do have more options now, but it just makes it that much more difficult to weed out the jerks who aren't sincere in their intentions. I'm hoping things will go better, but still I am finding nothing but frogs. If anyone sees Prince Charming, please tell him to give me a call. ;)

The little things make me so happy - like being able to wrap a towel around my body, sitting comfortably in waiting room chairs, restaurants, etc. Buying clothing in an area other than the plus size section has been absolutely amazing. I also noticed I don't sweat the way I used to, which makes me feel much more at ease, especially with warmer weather approaching. I was extremely giddy when I was laying in bed one night and could feel my hip bone and it's so nice to look in the mirror and see a collar bone! I take my measurements every few months to track how many inches I lost. One thing that blew my mind: The size of my waist now is equivalent to the size of one thigh before my surgery. How crazy is that?!?!?!?!

The downfalls: I have noticed my friends/co-workers treating me differently. It frustrates me that men I have been friends with for years all of a sudden want something more, and I get annoyed with girls who constantly ask me how much more I am going to lose because I am getting too skinny (this is ridiculous because I am still a size 14!!!!)... I didn't have a boyfriend before my surgery and was hoping that losing weight would open more avenues in terms of relationships, but really I'm finding that it just means more jerks to weed out! But anyway, the positives far outweigh the negatives I have come across.

I have become a scale whore and exercise fiend, which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing at this point. After all, I still need to keep myself in check!