A Letter To Myself

Dear Me,

This surgery has been a long time coming, and as scary as it may be, I know what has to be done. Gone are the days of worrying if I will fit in a chair, break a seat, a bed, or any other kind of furniture. I will not dread going out with my friends/family because I have to sit in the backseat with two other people. The next time I go to an amusement park, I will be able to ride the coasters. Walking a few miles won't seem quite as difficult, and taking the stairs won't seem quite as daunting. I won't cringe everytime I step on a scale. If you see me shopping at Dots, I will be at the regular side. Going to the gym will be a hobby instead of a dreadful inconvenience. And when I sit down, I will cross my legs because I will be a LADY instead of the ogre I feel like now.

These past years I have been slowly killing myself and those days are done. From now on, I will love and respect myself and my body. I will be conscious of what I put into it. And while I know I can't be perfect, I will pick myself back up as soon as I fall off the wagon. I am not going to put myself through this surgery only to fail afterward. I will beat this. I have to.

The love and support combined with this operation are the best tools I can ask for. This is a new chance for me - a new life. And I know from this moment, nothing will ever be the same... But somehow, I know that's a good thing.

<3 J